Friday, December 12, 2014

Warmer Winters

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Daughter of Roger Rabbit

Another one from

Sunday, November 9, 2014

November 2014

Portland Rainbow
I get bored sometimes

and then take bad selfies

and then more bad selfies

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Kutcher Vs. Sheen

Personally, I think they're both idiots and/or d-bags, but he's right. All I hear from Sheen is the adult voice from the Peanuts too. Though honestly, Kutcher is approaching that himself.

Internet Providers

From Facebook: know it's sad when Time Warner is the better alternative (in this case, to Comcast). It's even worse when Fairpoint is a better alternative to both. It's like saying "yea, I don't trust Dahmer either, but at least he's no Hitler or Pol Pot."

Hall, Oats, Brooks

This afternoon I was reading a story about that woman who was videotaped walking the streets of New York City and being cat-called, hit-on and otherwise annoyed by men (or worse).

I found myself this afternoon singing the song "Private Eyes" by Hall and Oates. Is it related? I don't know.

I do however know that as I was in the bathroom at one point yesterday, I got a Garth Brooks song stuck in my head, "The Thunder Rolls."

My subconscious has been very weird lately.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Barbie Safari

Not every bachelor has a Barbie riding an elephant in his apartment. Jealous?

Toys R Breakin' Bad

I've been thinking about finding an empty storefront, and asking the owner if I can borrow it for a couple weeks, putting a sign in the window "The Politically Correct Store" where "Nothing Offensive to Anyone!" then when people look in the windows, they don't see anything.

Sign this:

My Email to TRU:

Congratulations on beginning your efforts to rid your locations of toys that can be seen as inappropriate for children, through recent actions taken against “Breaking Bad”.

In addition, I’d like to recommend removing all toy guns, potentially violent imagery, and all other items that could be deemed offensive to any individual or group. Barbie for instance portrays unrealistic body types, while GI Joe and WWE Wrestling promote violence.

Once you have done this, please inform me as to where your nearest locations are, as their empty shelves would be great for holding my inoffensive, politically correct art projects (blank canvases made from biodegradable hemp and recycled lumber).

Eric S. Taylor
Portland ("Hippie Heaven"), Maine

Amelia Earhart and Derp Derp Derp

More Amelia Earhart news: pieces of her plane found, right where searchers were looking for her decades ago. Oh, with bones, and jars, and various items specific to women from the United States.

Its as if our grandparents' generation all went to the island and was like "hey, does that look like landing gear?" "I don't see anything." "What? What about the bones?" "Nope." "Jars of cosmetics?" "Still nope." "What about this sign that says 'Amelia Earhardt died here on this date' and the giant neon sign she fashioned from coconuts that reads, in plain English, "hey, where the fuck have you assholes been you stupid bastards? I try to fly around the world, get lost, crash here, and the whole US Navy can't find me? Idiots!" "Uh, nope, don't see that either. Back on the boat Johnson, looks like this will be a mystery for the ages." 

You want to know what happened? The US Navy knew it didn't find her in time to save her life, and didn't want to admit it. Going before the press and saying "yea, we found what's left of your hero after she was horribly killed and eaten by giant crabs, sorry we didn't find her earlier. Whoops, our bad" probably didn't go over too well with the brass.

From the webs:

"In 1940, researchers discovered a fraction of a skeleton on the island that matched the description of Amelia Earhart."

"Three years [after her disappearance], a British coconut harvesting expedition to the island found a partial skeleton of what appeared to be a castaway. Giant coconut crabs, apparently, had dismembered and carried off many of the bones, but the crew collected those that remained. They gathered up a few other items found at the scene, including pieces of a woman’s and a man’s shoe and a box that once contained a navigational device." -

"However a small sheet of aluminum discovered at a tiny uninhabited atoll called Nikumaroro—some 350 miles Southeast of Howland—that was discovered in 1991, has been positively identified as one of the Electra's components.
"Previous research on a photograph of Nikumaroro's western shoreline taken three months after Earhart's disappearance revealed an unexplained object protruding from the water on the fringing reef. Forensic imaging analyses of the photo suggested that the shape and dimension of the object are consistent with the landing gear of a Lockheed Electra."